she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
