I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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