anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
