Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
