remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he fucked my hip out of place.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
