she looked like the before picture.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
