Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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