just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
