Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
