You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
