Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
