How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
porn star boner night. come get it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
