You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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