FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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