oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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