Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
