so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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