She said her name was "party"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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