god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize