I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
