Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
