I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
