well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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