You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
