I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
