theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize