so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
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I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
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all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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