I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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