...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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