I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
