Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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