I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize