Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"

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  (617): So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK" http://tfl.nu/gedz
  Replies (17) Good night (5222) Bad night (717)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  NEVER shave your cleavage hair.

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  (804): NEVER shave your cleavage hair. http://tfl.nu/pogh
  Replies (87) Good night (576) Bad night (9550)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..

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  (902): he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us.. http://tfl.nu/wn2b
  Replies (33) Good night (1531) Bad night (3810)
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  (518): View more from New York

  alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  dude. you drew those with your dick

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  (518): alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from? (1-518): dude. you drew those with your dick http://tfl.nu/4t0i
  Replies (24) Good night (7284) Bad night (1421)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.

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  (717): Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list. http://tfl.nu/k33x
  Replies (28) Good night (4846) Bad night (931)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help

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  (917): I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help http://tfl.nu/ynln
  Replies (26) Good night (5601) Bad night (1974)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.

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  (319): How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules. http://tfl.nu/ttz2
  Replies (26) Good night (7980) Bad night (1321)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me

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  (631): I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me http://tfl.nu/qlti
  Replies (13) Good night (5289) Bad night (1182)
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  (916): View more from California

  Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?

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  (916): Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents? http://tfl.nu/8kv6
  Replies (20) Good night (2460) Bad night (1285)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans

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  (610): Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans http://tfl.nu/llf4
  Replies (5) Good night (1030) Bad night (374)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.

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  (817): Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter. http://tfl.nu/zoc6
  Replies (6) Good night (487) Bad night (1355)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.

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  (513): I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen. http://tfl.nu/m4h2
  Replies (9) Good night (1467) Bad night (319)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"

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  (226): You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!" http://tfl.nu/6320
  Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (205)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame

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  (727): I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame http://tfl.nu/nqk0
  Replies (6) Good night (1297) Bad night (245)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.

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  (402): REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES. http://tfl.nu/6ntk
  Replies (3) Good night (965) Bad night (155)

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