Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.