all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We are two peas in an std pod
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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