Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said

  (770): View more from Georgia

  she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You KNEW her power was out...

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  (404): I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said (770): she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to (404): You KNEW her power was out... http://tfl.nu/ggzc
  Replies (39) Good night (11895) Bad night (1050)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord

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  (617): Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord http://tfl.nu/e1xr
  Replies (41) Good night (1047) Bad night (3692)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?

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  (252): Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot? http://tfl.nu/byc9
  Replies (14) Good night (4429) Bad night (831)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.

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  (412): girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid. http://tfl.nu/vm0r
  Replies (10) Good night (3529) Bad night (641)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME

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  (503): I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME http://tfl.nu/s14f
  Replies (23) Good night (3594) Bad night (1476)
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  (510): View more from California

  It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.

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  (510): It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello. http://tfl.nu/um1l
  Replies (4) Good night (2210) Bad night (652)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.

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  (502): I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever. http://tfl.nu/bzzy
  Replies (6) Good night (3882) Bad night (712)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.

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  (828): I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water. http://tfl.nu/12pc
  Replies (4) Good night (1171) Bad night (597)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.

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  (952): Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm. http://tfl.nu/ghbo
  Replies (15) Good night (2357) Bad night (701)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer

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  (865): At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer http://tfl.nu/lzgu
  Replies (7) Good night (1691) Bad night (534)
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  (626): View more from California

  I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.

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  (626): I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime. http://tfl.nu/zedi
  Replies (9) Good night (1999) Bad night (495)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom

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  (403): Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom http://tfl.nu/04zu
  Replies (2) Good night (1325) Bad night (404)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.

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  (+44): Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process. http://tfl.nu/j8pd
  Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (262)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?

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  (417): So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty? http://tfl.nu/l95a
  Replies (3) Good night (683) Bad night (255)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste

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  (215): they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste http://tfl.nu/vto5
  Replies (2) Good night (731) Bad night (237)

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