Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead

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(513): I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead http://tfl.nu/yu41

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.

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(918): Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building. http://tfl.nu/yoz8

Replies (44) Good night (5944) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.

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(610): doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better. http://tfl.nu/6sgi

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(856): View more from New Jersey

FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!

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(856): FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?! http://tfl.nu/ganv

Replies (70) Good night (4984) Bad night (9452) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that

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(917): Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that http://tfl.nu/jdka

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(404): View more from Georgia

So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.

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(404): So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B. http://tfl.nu/ianl

Replies (28) Good night (1142) Bad night (5888) Order T-Shirt
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(480): View more from Arizona

From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.

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(480): From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him. http://tfl.nu/9mdh

Replies (23) Good night (5858) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.

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(484): She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that. http://tfl.nu/ceu5

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.

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(919): Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar. http://tfl.nu/xoz4

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(843): View more from South Carolina

So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.

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(843): So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay. http://tfl.nu/5u6r

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!

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(570): ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin! http://tfl.nu/i1tl

Replies (18) Good night (1383) Bad night (2040)
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(613): View more from Ontario

NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER

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(613): NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER http://tfl.nu/1x2h

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(734): View more from Michigan

Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked

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(734): Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked http://tfl.nu/0uzi

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(714): View more from California

There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.

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(714): There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody. http://tfl.nu/evby

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(316): View more from Kansas

You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.

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(316): You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel. http://tfl.nu/ugfj

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