she woke up with a sticky ear
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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