if i died would you start the facebook group?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
