oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
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Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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