I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize