so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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