He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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