He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
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He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
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My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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