I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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