People with herpes should wear stickers.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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