Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
