Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
