Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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