are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
