He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize