I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
