I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
