This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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