i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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