So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
