tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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