You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
