I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
