You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
