You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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