Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
