no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
