Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
