walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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