If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
