The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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