I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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